Discover Yourself - Act 14 - THE FINAL ACT
by DreamSeeker
Summary: This is it! The summer program comes to a close. Please review!


Author's Note:   
  
  
  
  
"Discover Yourself" - Act 14  
  
Disclaimer: The characters of Peter, Sophie, Shelby, Juliette, Scott, Auggie, Daisy, Ezra, and Kat do not belong to me.   
  
"Knowing others is wisdom; Knowing the self is enlightenment; Mastering others requires force; Mastering the self needs strength." - Tao te Ching  
  
  
  
  
Alison allowed Sophie to lead her into the main lodge, which was otherwise empty. "This doesn't mean I'm staying," Ali informed Sophie curtly as they sat down on a couch.   
  
Sophie nodded. *One step at a time,* she reminded herself.   
  
Ali took a deep breath, trying to maintain her composure. "See, I really gave you the packet on accident. I guess my mind was, uh, in another place at that time."  
  
"So, you were never going to give it to me?" Sophie asked, clearly confused.  
  
Ali looked down at her hands. "I didn't really know at the time," she said softly. "I just wanted to write it all down, I really didn't think any further than that."  
  
There was silence for a moment, as Sophie tried to figure out the best way to handle the situation. She finally opened the packet and pulled out its contents, as Ali watched with trepidation.   
  
"'Are you satisfied with your life?' You wrote 'No, I don't know if I have ever been. 'Are you self-confident?' You wrote 'I don't even know what that would feel like.'" Sophie paused and looked over at Ali, who looked like she wanted to desperately find a hole and crawl into it.   
  
"Ali, I would like you to just do me one last favor. I know this is scary, to face your problems and fears head-on, but I think you're strong enough. I would like for you to read this aloud to me, please, and really listen to yourself while you're reading it." Sophie handed her a piece of paper.  
  
Ali looked down at the paper - it was the journal entry she had written the previous night. She cleared her throat, determined not to cry as she read out loud, "'I opened my packet to find all these questions about my eating habits and my weight. At first, I had no intention of answering them, and I was so angry. Then, after Mike didn't come like he was supposed to,'" Ali blushed, "'I went on anther binge. I never should have bought that food, I knew what would happen. I'm just so sick of feeling this way, I don't know how to make it stop. But at the same time, I don't want to stop, because it's comforting to me.'" Ali stopped, sucking in her breath,unable to stop the tears from falling. "'Why didn't my mom get me help when she found a bag of food under my bed when I was ten years old? She was probably too embarrassed of me. I can't blame it on her, though, I'm the one that stuffs food in my mouth and gained all this disgusting weight. I don't understand, though, why I have gained all this weight now, but didn't in high school or college. I would binge every day after school, it was almost a game to see how much I could eat before Mom or Dad came home from work. But I guess I exercised more, because I barely gained weight. And Mom told me I needed to lose weight even back then! It's no wonder I took laxatives a few times and made myself throw up, although I could never do that on a regular basis. But now look at me, I'm fat and disgusting, and I'll never find someone to love me. Maybe I don't deserve anyonen's love.'" Ali couldn't continue. She started sobbing as Sophie put her arms around her. "I hate feeling like this," she choked out in between sobs.   
  
Sophie continued to cradle Ali as she silently cursed a mother who would make her child feel inferior. "Then I'll help you feel differently."  
  
  
  
  
"Peter, who was on the phone?" Shelby was getting more and more scared, the longer Peter remained silent as he looked at her with an agonized expression on his face.   
  
*I can't wait for Soph, I need to do this now,* Peter thought, silently praying for the right words. "Shel, please sit down. We need to talk."  
  
Shelby simply nodded and moved over to the sofa, glad to get some response from Peter. From what she'd heard him say on the phone, she had a bad feeling.   
  
Peter sat down across from Shelby and bent forward, looking directly at her. "Shel, that was your mom on the phone. There's, uh, really no easy way to tell you this..."  
  
"Did something happen to Jess?" Shelby interrupted, a panic-stricken look on her face.   
  
"Oh, no hon, it's not that. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," Peter said sincerely.   
  
A look of relief flashed across Shelby's face, then was replaced by a stony stare at Peter. "Well then, what is it?" she asked dully.   
  
"Your mom is giving full custody of you to your father," Peter said slowly, watching Shelby carefully for a reaction.   
  
"Can she just do that?" Shelby asked incredulously.   
  
"Yes, I'm afraid she can. Shel, I'm sorry..."  
  
Shelby snorted. "Exactly what are you sorry for, Peter? That you had to be the one to tell me? Or that I have a mother who doesn't want me anymore?" Shelby stood up and turned her back to Peter, as tears welled in her eyes.   
  
Peter stood up, too, resisting the urge to reach out and comfort Shelby. He didn't want to frighten her. "Shelby, I'm going to do everything I can to help you through this. I'll talk to your dad and convince him to let you stay at Horizon,"  
  
Shelby whirled around to face Peter. "What do you mean, convince him to let me stay here? There's a chance I will have to leave Horizon?" Shelby's head was spinning, she was feeling so many emotions at once.   
  
"Not if I can help it," Peter said quietly, with such determination in his voice that Shelby wanted to believe everything would be okay. *But everything is NOT going to be okay,* she thought, as her knees started to buckle under her. Peter caught her and helped her sit back down on the couch.   
  
"Easy, kiddo. Stay there, I'll get you some water." Peter hurried to the kitchen, wishing Sophie would come home. He rushed back to Shelby, sitting across from her again as he handed her the glass of water.   
  
Shelby took a sip of the water, not looking at Peter. "Does he know?" she asked softly.  
  
Peter wasn't sure if he'd heard her correctly. "I'm sorry, Shel, what did you say?"  
  
Shelby looked up at Peter, her expression empty. "Does my father know? About everything that's happened."  
  
"Oh, ah..." Peter paused, trying to remember the heated conversation he'd had with Mrs. Blaine. "Actually, I don't know. Your mother didn't say," he admitted frankly.   
  
Shelby slowly nodded, her gaze returning to the floor. "Okay," she barely whispered, blinking back unshed tears.   
  
Peter sighed, running his hands through his hair in frustration. "Shel, talk to me, please. I know you're hurting, you've got to let it out."   
  
"Let it out? LET IT OUT?!?" Shelby stood up, shaking with rage. "How do you suggest I let it out, Peter? Like this?" She turned and hurled her water glass at the wall with all her might. It shattered with a loud sound upon impact, littering the carpet with tiny shards of glass.  
  
Immediately, horror overcame Shelby as she realized what she'd done. She sank back down on the couch and hugged herself, rocking back and forth.  
  
Peter knelt down in front of her, truly scared by her reaction. "Shelby, look at me." No response. "SHELBY."  
  
Shelby kept rocking as she closed her eyes. "I'm sorry, please don't send me away. I'll be good, don't give up on me, too." She choked as the sobs gathered in her throat.   
  
Peter put both his hands on the sides of Shelby's face, forcing her to look at him. "Shelby, listen to me," he said firmly. "We are NOT going to send you away. You're safe here. Sophie and I will help you through this. Do you understand?" Peter wiped away her tears as she nodded. He blinked hard, trying hard to stay in control of his own emotions, as he let go of her face.   
  
Shelby put her head down and started weeping. She was sick of trying to stay strong, she couldn't do it any longer. She felt as if she were drowning, and it frightened her to no end. For once, she didn't pull away as Peter knelt beside her on the floor, rubbing her back as she stayed bent over, crying her eyes out.   
  
  
  
  
"Ready for the last day?" Sophie asked Peter, as they made breakfast together in the main lodge's kitchen.  
  
"Yeah, I can't believe the first session of 'Discover Yourself' is nearing the end," Peter commented, flipping pancakes. "Remind me again, Soph - why did we agree to make them all breakfast on the last day?"  
  
Sophie gave Peter a knowing smile. "You know why. It's been quite a three-week adventure, and this helps them start off the last day on a bright note."  
  
"Oh, yeah," Peter grinned. "You already started my day off on a bright note, when you greeted me in bed by..."  
  
"Peter!" Sophie looked horrified. "Shh! They could be coming in any minute!" Sophie's face was a deep crimson color as she stirred the eggs.   
  
"Hey," Shelby said as she strolled into the kitchen, picking up a piece of bacon to munch on. Sophie threw Peter an 'I told you so' look.   
  
"Shelby, wait for the others," Sophie chastised gently, as Shelby rolled her eyes. Sophie was glad to see her acting more like her old self, but she wondered if that would change when the other Cliffhangers came back. Plus, she still had to tell Shelby that Juliette would be going to Europe instead of coming back to Horizon.   
  
"Shel, you want to make some toast for me?" Peter asked.   
  
"Sure, it's my dream come true," Shelby answered sarcastically as she moved over to the toaster.   
  
Peter's brow furrowed as he thought back to the past week's events. He had managed to talk Shelby's father into allowing her to stay at Horizon for her upcoming senior year. Her father planned to come visit Shelby before classes started, something he still had to talk to Shelby about. Peter was glad to see Shelby act more comfortable around him, although she was still irritable at times and easily startled. The nightmares had continued, too - Shelby's screams had awakened Sophie and Peter more than once. *But it's a start,* Peter thought hopefully, reminding himself how strong Shelby was.   
  
"Good morning!" Liz said cheerfully as she came into the dining hall, followed by Ali and Lynn.   
  
"Mornin'," Peter smiled, watching as Shelby rolled her eyes yet again, her back turned to Liz.   
  
"Hey," Mike said as he sauntered into the dining hall alone.  
  
"Where's Troy?" Sophie inquired.  
  
"I dunno. He's coming," Mike said, slightly annoyed. *Man, am I ready to get out of here,* he thought to himself. "Hey," he said to Shelby, giving her a genuine smile.  
  
Shelby smiled back. "Hey yourself. Hope you're hungry."  
  
Peter and Sophie were still amazed that Shelby and Mike had such a good rapport. Even though Shelby had loosened up around Peter, she still remained tense around other men, even Troy. Mike was an exception that Peter and Sophie couldn't quite figure out.   
  
Troy came bounding in just then, grinning from ear to ear. "Hey, what's up?" he beamed.   
  
"Well, you are," Peter said, laughing at Troy's obvious good mood. "What has you in such fine spirits this morning?"  
  
"I'm anxious to see Claire, this is the longest I've ever gone without seeing her," Troy answered candidly.   
  
Sophie felt the all too familiar pang in her stomach. She was happy for Troy, but couldn't help but wish she would know how he felt someday. "I'm looking forward to meeting her," she said with a smile.   
  
"Yeah, I think she'll love it here," Troy said, glancing over at Shelby. "Hey, Shelby, maybe you could babysit sometime? I pay well."  
  
"Yeah, maybe," Shelby answered nonchalantly, concentrating on buttering the toast.   
  
Peter gave Troy a 'thanks for trying' smile, then announced to everyone that breakfast was ready to be served.   
  
  
  
  
"I can't believe it's almost over," Lynn commented as she and Troy walked over to a picnic table.   
  
"Have you gotten a lot out of the experience?" Troy asked, an eyebrow raised.   
  
Lynn laughed. "Ever the teacher, aren't you." She thought a minute before answering. "Actually, yes, I have learned some interesting things about myself. And I'm sure Sophie will remind me of more things after our final one-on-one."   
  
Troy smiled. "Ah, yes, the always helpful Sophie. It will be interesting, working side by side with her and Peter."  
  
Lynn detected a note of hesitation. "Are you having second thoughts?" she asked, concerned.   
  
"No, nothing like that. I guess I'm just a little... anxious. Silly, huh?" Troy smiled sheepishly.  
  
"No, I don't think it's silly at all. The unknown is very scary," Lynn admitted. *Like the future*, she thought, wondering what it held for her.   
  
Troy stood up then, pulling Lynn to her feet. "There's something else that has been scaring me. I've been avoiding it because I wasn't sure what the result would be." He stepped closer to her.  
  
Lynn's heart was fluttering, with Troy standing so close. "What's that?" she asked, looking up at him.   
  
"This." Troy put his arms around Lynn and gently pulled her toward him, as he bent his head down and kissed her. He lifted his head and looked at her again, smiling.   
  
"Oh," was all Lynn could say, feeling her cheeks flaming. The kiss had been everything she had imagined - full of warmth and tenderness.   
  
"So, I guess I'll give you a call when we get settled back here in a few weeks." Troy was on a high, the kiss had felt wonderful to him.   
  
Lynn nodded, her mind still reeling. "Yeah, that sounds good," she agreed.   
  
  
  
  
"So, I apologized to Ali, because I know what I said was just awful," Liz admitted to Sophie, embarrassed.   
  
"Yes, it was," Sophie agreed. "It took a lot to admit you were wrong. Good for you, Liz." Sophie handed Liz a packet. "Here is everything we've gone over. If you need me to talk to your parents about your change in majors, I'd be happy to."  
  
Liz nodded. "We'll see how it goes. I need to start acting grown-up sometime if that's how I expect them to treat me." She looked down at the papers. "An events planner, huh? Yeah, I think I'd really enjoy that."  
  
Sophie smiled. "I can certainly see you planning extravaganzas, or even conferences for organizations. You're a definite people person, Liz, you just need to get some structure in your life. That's not to say you can't still have fun, but just be responsible."  
  
"I know, I know," Liz teased, smiling.   
  
"And don't forget about the meditation and relaxation exercises. They'll help you become more comfortable with yourself, that's a big step." Sophie looked down at her notes. "I think that's it. Is there anything else you wanted to go over?"  
  
Liz shook her head. "Just to say thanks, Sophie. I really appreciate everything." She gave Sophie a tight hug before hurrying off to say good-bye to the others.   
  
*Who would have thought it would turn out this way?* Sophie wondered silently, as she looked down at her notes to prepare for her last session with Ali.   
  
  
  
  
Peter was waiting for Mike to arrive in his office for their last one-on-one session when his phone rang. "Hello," he answered.   
  
"Peter, is that you?" a male voice said.  
  
"Yes - Auggie?" Peter smiled as he leaned back in his chair. "How are you, man? How's the summer?"  
  
"It's good, Peter, it's good. Mama and Papa are being good to me, and no more trouble from my brother."  
  
"Good to hear. So, what's up?"  
  
"Well, it's about Jules. Peter, she emailed me all about the school in Europe." Peter was surprised that Juliette had been open with Auggie, but he remained silent. "She won't return my calls or email me again. Peter, we have to stop her mom from doing this."  
  
Peter sighed. "Aug, I don't want her to go any more than you do, but there's only so much I can do."   
  
"This sucks," Auggie said, noticeably upset. "Okay, Peter. I know you did what you could. Now it's my turn."  
  
"Auggie, wait. What are you going to do? Auggie..." Peter had a bad feeling about this.  
  
"Don't worry, Peter. It'll be okay. See you in a few weeks. Hasta luego." The line went dead as Auggie hung up.   
  
*Great, what is he up to?* Peter worried.  
  
  
  
  
Sophie looked over at Ali, who was busy reading some literature on Binge Eating Disorder. Ever since Ali had broken down after reading her journal entry, she had possessed a willingness to change. Sophie just hoped that she didn't lose that when she went back into her old familiar way of life.   
  
"So, you're going to give that therapist a call and set up an appointment?" Sophie asked encouragingly.   
  
Ali nodded and let out a big sigh. "Yeah, I've known for a while that I needed something like that, I just didn't want to admit it."  
  
Sophie took Ali's hand in her own. "It is a sign of strength, not weakness, to admit you need help - remember that. You can do this. And I'm only a phone call or an email away, if you ever need to talk."  
  
Ali smiled, tears forming in her eyes. "Thanks, Sophie. I don't think I'd be doing this if it weren't for you and Peter, and this program." She and Sophie embraced, finally pulling apart, neither one dry-eyed.   
  
"What's going to happen with you and Mike?" Sophie asked gently.   
  
Ali shrugged. "Well, I think I've seen him for what he is, and that's a user. But that's okay, I'll get over it. I guess, in a way, I used him, too."  
  
  
  
  
"So, what did you learn about yourself, Mike?" Peter asked, waiting for a smart-alec answer.   
  
Mike sat back thoughtfully. "Well, I learned that I can't hide from my problems, they will follow me wherever I go until I face them."  
  
Peter leaned forward, surprised. "Really?"  
  
Mike smiled. "Yeah, really. I tried to escape from my anger at my dad and his new girlfriend, but the anger didn't go away. I can only do so much to make myself feel better until I have to deal with that anger."  
  
"You mean the drugs?" Peter prompted.   
  
"Yeah, man - drugs, girls, whatever. It's all a buffer, and I guess I've always known that. But it just feels so good, ya know? It will be hard not to indulge." Mike started to feel a little uncomfortable, he hadn't counted on being so honest with Peter.   
  
"Mike, you're strong, man. You can hang in there. In the meantime, talk to your dad. Tell him how you feel."  
  
"Yeah, right." Mike snorted in disbelief.  
  
"No, trust me. I wish I'd talked to my dad more about things before he died. You won't regret it." Peter stood up and shook Mike's hand. "Let me know how things turn out."  
  
"Will do," Mike grinned, ready to get back home. "See ya."  
  
  
  
  
"Are you sure we have to go through this again?" Peter moaned as Sophie flipped through the applications of the next batch of 'Discover Yourself' participants.   
  
"Hey, at least we're closer to the students coming back." Sophie stopped reading and glanced over at Shelby, who was sitting away from her and Peter, on the dock, looking out over the water.   
  
"Who would have thought we'd ever be glad to have the kids back?" Peter grinned as he thought about the Horizon kids.   
  
"I hope it will all be okay," Sophie said, standing up and looking towards Shelby and the lake. The sun was setting, casting magnificent hues of orange, pink, blue, and lavendar over the sky, mirrored in the water.   
  
Peter wrapped his arms around Sophie, knowing she was talking about not only the kids coming back, but her concerns for Shelby. "It will be, Soph. It's all going to work out, just wait and see."  
  
  
  
  
Coming up:  
An all-new fall fanfiction has the Horizon kids returning. The Cliffhangers are now seniors. Will Auggie be able to get Juliette to come back to Horizon instead of going to Europe? How will Shelby react to her father's visit, and to Scott and the other Cliffhangers? A second group of kids is introduced, as Troy and another new counselor head up the group. Will Troy and Lynn have a successful relationship? More members of Sophie's family come into the picture. Stay tuned...  
  
  
  
  
  
PLEASE REVIEW, it only takes a few seconds! Thanks!  
  
  
  
  



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